They all sound bad, But My iron clad boys have suffered greatly over the years. But Imagine your sleeping dreaming your wonderful dreams. You\'re 3 year old (Nephew in my case). Has a bad dream and I\'m his hero so he comes running and stage dives double kneed right into you\'re previously safe, Sleeping soundly sack. It\'s like a magnet they are always under attack. We should unite and invent the jock thats comfortable and stylish!
wahoodad
· 3 years ago
The Baby Carrier Crippler
While the baby carrier will keep your kid safe, it can dish out a lot of pain. The carrier has a three-pronged attack.
Zone 1. The obliques (those are the muscles beneath that soft, pasty protective blubber ring that sags over your belt just above your hip bone)and shoulders. Similar in pain to the marathon burner, it occurs when you\'re holding the carrier to the side and away from your body for an extended area of time. If you\'ve got twins you\'re okay here because you have counterbalance with a carrier in each hand.
Zone 2. The outside knee and lower thigh. When fatigue sets in from zone 1, the carrier slams into this region You develop a perma-bruise, which is nice, because then you can repeatedly whack said bruise every time you transport your kid.
It is important to note that both 1 and 2 can be avoided if you hold the handle of the carrier in the crook of your arm (that\'s where the ball is on the Heisman Trophy). But you\'re a man, dammit. If you hold a baby carrier this way be sure to put on your red riding hood, plaid skirt, or other appropriate feminine attire.
Zone 3. The lower back. The carrier could not be more poorly designed in terms of ergonomics for your lower back. If you\'ve ever worked in any kind of a warehouse or retail environment you may have seen those posters with diagrams about how to safely lift irems over 10 lbs in weight. Loading a carrier into its seat base is the exact opposite of what the good folks at OSHA recommend. The safest place for the carrier base is in the middle of the back seat, which means you have to lift the carrier and extend it away from your body while bent over at a 90 degree angle. This maneuver had me walking around like John Merrick and Quasimodo\'s love child for several days and landed me in my only trip the physical therapist in my lifetime.
All of these pains are a rite of passage into fatherhood. It could be worse--you could live on that island in the South Pacific where the tribes make boys jump from rickety timber platforms with a vine tied around their ankles to prove their manhood. Remember, noodads: safety is no accident.
Anonymous
· 3 years ago
As the proud father of an 8 week old, I cant comment on most of these. But I can suggest this- When the wee one is fussy at night, one of the surest ways to calm her down is to hold her against your chest. But on occasion, she crabs a hand full of chest hair and pulls- HARD! I cant believe a 10lb baby has that kungfu grip!
latiamh
· 3 years ago
Have you ever had a nine month old with teeth try to latch on to your nipple? Sure it hurts the moms a bit, but has it ever happened to you? The Dad? My hubby was holding our half awake daughter with his shirt off (it had to be 5 am) and she was a little confused and decided to try to latch on. I know it hurt-but it was hilarious. Now he has a bit of an idea of what chapped nipples are-tee hee hee hee
KC
· 3 years ago
Macho you tries to hold the kid with one arm, but he\'s growing heavier by the week, and he\'s oh-so-mobile too.
He wiggles, jiggles, tries to flop out of your grasp to hit the floor with his face so he can then go play. You single-armedly foil the escape plot, but there\'s a price -- the neck and shoulders ain\'t young and strong the way they used to be. You pulled _something_ in that neck/shoulder area. Now, when you turn the head, there\'s that sharp pain. Lying on one side is uncomfortable at night. Every heavy lift gives you the reminder that Squirrely might have earned the right to never be picked up again.
Weeks pass, and the pain doesn\'t quite go away. You probably have a pinched nerve and need a chiropractor\'s help.
All Comments
While the baby carrier will keep your kid safe, it can dish out a lot of pain. The carrier has a three-pronged attack.
Zone 1. The obliques (those are the muscles beneath that soft, pasty protective blubber ring that sags over your belt just above your hip bone)and shoulders. Similar in pain to the marathon burner, it occurs when you\'re holding the carrier to the side and away from your body for an extended area of time. If you\'ve got twins you\'re okay here because you have counterbalance with a carrier in each hand.
Zone 2. The outside knee and lower thigh. When fatigue sets in from zone 1, the carrier slams into this region You develop a perma-bruise, which is nice, because then you can repeatedly whack said bruise every time you transport your kid.
It is important to note that both 1 and 2 can be avoided if you hold the handle of the carrier in the crook of your arm (that\'s where the ball is on the Heisman Trophy). But you\'re a man, dammit. If you hold a baby carrier this way be sure to put on your red riding hood, plaid skirt, or other appropriate feminine attire.
Zone 3. The lower back. The carrier could not be more poorly designed in terms of ergonomics for your lower back. If you\'ve ever worked in any kind of a warehouse or retail environment you may have seen those posters with diagrams about how to safely lift irems over 10 lbs in weight. Loading a carrier into its seat base is the exact opposite of what the good folks at OSHA recommend. The safest place for the carrier base is in the middle of the back seat, which means you have to lift the carrier and extend it away from your body while bent over at a 90 degree angle. This maneuver had me walking around like John Merrick and Quasimodo\'s love child for several days and landed me in my only trip the physical therapist in my lifetime.
All of these pains are a rite of passage into fatherhood. It could be worse--you could live on that island in the South Pacific where the tribes make boys jump from rickety timber platforms with a vine tied around their ankles to prove their manhood. Remember, noodads: safety is no accident.
My hubby was holding our half awake daughter with his shirt off (it had to be 5 am) and she was a little confused and decided to try to latch on.
I know it hurt-but it was hilarious. Now he has a bit of an idea of what chapped nipples are-tee hee hee hee
He wiggles, jiggles, tries to flop out of your grasp to hit the floor with his face so he can then go play. You single-armedly foil the escape plot, but there\'s a price -- the neck and shoulders ain\'t young and strong the way they used to be. You pulled _something_ in that neck/shoulder area. Now, when you turn the head, there\'s that sharp pain. Lying on one side is uncomfortable at night. Every heavy lift gives you the reminder that Squirrely might have earned the right to never be picked up again.
Weeks pass, and the pain doesn\'t quite go away. You probably have a pinched nerve and need a chiropractor\'s help.