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Finding your crew can indeed take some time. I started by asking all of my friends if they would be interested in playing. Some of them are not, but I found that most of my friends are at least intrigued by the idea. I also asked people at work if they would like to play. I do not ask people who are more junior than me.
Keeping the stakes low (like playing for corn nuts :zzz :zzz :zzz ) makes it pretty easy to get people to at least give it a try. Remember that playing for nothing is lame and does not create a real poker experience.
I keep that spreadsheet for a reason. It tells me who is coming and in what order I should invite people. I usually tell about 12 guys that we are having a poker night and get 6-10 to show up. I also ask people if they know people who would be interested and add them to the crew. It is pretty important to make sure that these people are not going to be too loud or rowdy. I hold the person who brought a guest responsible for keeping that person in line. I haven\'t had to chuck anyone yet and I do not ever want to have to.
There are some ideas. You could post on Craigslist and there are some websites that have people looking for poker games, but I would be pretty leary of letting a stranger in my house that no one in my crew knows.
I've been running a home game for 3+ years now. Once a month for at least 11 months out of the year. It started out with coworkers and friends, then when numbers dwindled the 'crew' would bring in their relatives or friends and we expand back out again. unfortunately there's two groups geographically now, so we started rotating the location between south-of-boston and north-of-boston.
i keep a running tally of points for each year. Originally I did a scoring a system of Z-A where first place gets Z points (Z=total number of players) and last place gets 1 point. This was to encourage participation to get at least a point to showing up...but it made the guy who won the one time a year 12 people attend pretty hard to beat as most months it's 6-8, so this year I'm doing 3-2-1 for top three places only.
I have a similar drop-off rate as you. I need 8 people to plan on coming to get a table of 6 running. Less than 6 and I'll cancel/reschedule.
The missus approves as I do most of the hosting and we start after the kids are in bed. Our games start around 830 and we're always done between 11-12.